My current courses at the English school finish on October 2. I had originally committed to then teach the next courses that go through December, but today I gave my official notice that I will be leaving the school. I have been asked to begin the new courses with my classes and teach until mid-October when several new teachers will arrive and someone will be able to take over for me. All of my time here thus far has been a great learning experience - learning more about what I don’t want to do forever. I’ve never been a fan of the idea of a career and am enjoying trying a little bit of this and that, especially since my interests are always changing as I get older. But most of my exploring over the last few years has lead to discoveries of what I don’t want to do, not what I do want to do. I have enjoyed my time as an English teacher and I will be incredibly sad to leave my students, but I feel very much at peace about my decision to quit. I feel like during my time here in Vietnam I am being given the opportunity to really explore and seek out what my passions are, what breaks my heart, and what my role is in trying to repair our broken world. Through many conversations with my friend Kaitlin (whom I have found to be somewhat of a kindred spirit), I have had some “light bulb” moments in regards to all of this. The reason I wanted to come to Vietnam was to work with orphans, and the reason I wanted to work with orphans was because of my past experiences working with orphans in Ukraine. During those trips to Ukraine I felt like I was doing exactly what I was created to do, like my passions and my work were finally aligned in those moments spent playing with the kids. So I thought I had figured out what I was supposed to do. But this time has been different. My time spent with the kids at the orphanage here has not given me that feeling. I no longer see the individual kids when I go to the orphanage, I see the orphanage itself and the systemic problems that created the need for it. One day recently Kaitlin and I were talking about this and how when it comes to solving the world’s problems there are two approaches and two kinds of people to go along with them. These two approaches are charity work and justice work. Charity work focuses on meeting direct needs, treating the symptoms of larger problems like poverty or human trafficking by giving out food or clothing or building shelters. Justice work focuses on the root of the problems rather than the symptoms. It is about transformation on the systemic level. Both charity work and justice work are important and necessary, and different people are better suited for the different types of work. In the past, I was perfectly content to be involved in charity work. But the past few years have changed me so much and I now find myself on the other side, as a justice person. This is why I haven’t had that same feeling of purpose in my work here. This realization was so important for me to have because I had been feeling sort of guilty and wondering why I didn’t seem to care more about loving these kids. But I don’t need to feel that way. I do care about loving these kids, just in a different way than before. This may not be making any sense to you, but it has been a huge epiphany for me in my search for a place in the bigger picture.
So now I have 4 more weeks of teaching English, which means 4 weeks to figure out what I will do next. I have begun the search for volunteer work once again. One possibility is working with an organization called AOG World Relief, which does a lot of work in community development. Kaitlin is currently volunteering with them so she is my connection to seeing if they need any more help. As always I will keep you updated on whatever I find. Sorry for the long ramblings. If you made it this far I am very impressed :) Thank you all for your continued prayers! Peace and love from Vietnam.
